What about the Victim?
Pittsburgh news has been inundated with stories surrounding the death of Canonsburg police officer, Scott Bashioum. While his death was a tragic and senseless one, little has been mentioned in the news about any services for the other victim of this senseless crime, Dalia Sabae, and her unborn child.
Ms. Sabae had filed protection from abuse (PFA) orders against her husband on more than one occasion. An active PFA prohibits the abuser from owning any firearms. However, the now-deceased abuser husband had access to firearms for hunting, according to his family, who stated to news sources that “they never thought something like this would happen.” Family, friends, neighbors are always the first to be surprised when they learn what happens behind closed doors.
Ms. Sabae was three months pregnant at the time of her unfortunate death. The final hours of her life (and her baby’s) were most likely terrifying with threats and probable violence at the hands of her abuser. A piece of paper (the PFA) couldn’t and wouldn’t save her life from a violent man.
More needs to be done to enforce PFAs. More needs to be done to get (and keep) partners away from abusive partners and get them safely out of and away from abusive relationships. As a domestic violence survivor (previous life; I don’t talk about it), it is upsetting to me that another woman has lost her life at the hands of a violent man. Mr. Bashioum certainly deserves the recognition for his dedicated service as a police officer, but what about the domestic violence victim?
Posted on November 17, 2016, in Ramblings, Rants, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.
The Bitch Desk 
Thank you!!! My fiancé and I have repeatedly remarked on this subject, we just don’t understand WHY, all the acknowledgment of such a tragic and senseless murder is focused primarily on the the responding police officer that tried but was unable to rescue and protect this poor pregnant women who had repeatedly appealed to her local protective services for help. After months which turned into years, it has become almost nauseating for me to hear about continually ongoing honors and awards to the family of this fallen officer, but none for the victim and her family or other women and children like her…
This is very disturbing for our society, that what should seem the greater tragedy was the defenseless female victim and her unborn child. I’m not even familiar with her name because it has been so rarely mentioned or included in all the news reports of accolades, honors, charitable donations to his family, etc… bestowed upon Scott Bashioum. I’m grateful that you thoughtfully included her very beautiful name, DALIA SABAE, and the fact that she was so vulnerable as a young expectant mother, 3 months pregnant with an innocent soul. She and her babe were killed following the proper channels as a citizen by obtaining PFAs and then calling 911 for help when the restraining orders were violated, just as the responding officer was killed doing his job attempting to save her…so what is the the great disparity that can account for the lack of recognition, concern and care for Dalia’s family and/or the other misremembered women and children like her, where is the ongoing charity and adequate support for the survivors of the victim’s families.
*note*
Misremembered:
it’s a misguided attempt at fitting in and connecting with others, because we are social animals. Our happiness, welfare and existence depend on connectedness and we believe that the more we align our experiences with others, the more they will like us and accept us into their circle, when that happens, the happier and safer we feel.
Bret A. Moore Psy.D., ABPP
The Camouflage Couch
‘Misremembering’ Is All Too Human and All Too Common
So is society just remembering the fallen “heroes” because this is the more desirable concept of community we want to align ourselves with, rather than the fallen “victims” of which no one wants to be identified as being, so they are pushed to the margins of society.