Monthly Archives: May 2012

The Rebound

As defined by

* Going from one relationship to the next right away to avoid the pain of a breakup;

* Hooking up with someone shortly after being dumped (by someone else) so that you still feel wanted;

* The kind of relationship that’s simply happening in order to get over one that recently ended.

You know it happens. I know it happens.  At some point, it happens in everyone’s lives. I’ve had (and known that they were) rebound relationships. You don’t care that the person isn’t really compatible with you, but you don’t care, you just want to “be” with someone (mentally or physically) because you hate to be/feel alone.

I’m the one who stepped away from my most recent relationship. I’m smart enough to work on what I’m not happy with related to me. I can’t be (and I’m not) upset that he chose to dive right into another relationship. Where I think he is making a mistake —  he’s not concerned about what went wrong with us and how to fix that for any future relationships.

Rebounds are great to help get you past the hurt, but you can’t ignore the underlying reason(s) for why prior relationships didn’t work.  When that rebound relationship ends?  You’re back to being alone.  You’re not any better off than where you began.

In the end, you have to love yourself first. Bringing someone else into your life should be the gravy.  At my age with a failed marriage and handful of ended relationships under my belt, I’m not willing to settle for “It’s OK.” The next man I allow into my circle had better plan to bring a lot to the relationship table. I can’t and won’t settle for less.