Category Archives: Relationships
What about the Victim?
Pittsburgh news has been inundated with stories surrounding the death of Canonsburg police officer, Scott Bashioum. While his death was a tragic and senseless one, little has been mentioned in the news about any services for the other victim of this senseless crime, Dalia Sabae, and her unborn child.
Ms. Sabae had filed protection from abuse (PFA) orders against her husband on more than one occasion. An active PFA prohibits the abuser from owning any firearms. However, the now-deceased abuser husband had access to firearms for hunting, according to his family, who stated to news sources that “they never thought something like this would happen.” Family, friends, neighbors are always the first to be surprised when they learn what happens behind closed doors.
Ms. Sabae was three months pregnant at the time of her unfortunate death. The final hours of her life (and her baby’s) were most likely terrifying with threats and probable violence at the hands of her abuser. A piece of paper (the PFA) couldn’t and wouldn’t save her life from a violent man.
More needs to be done to enforce PFAs. More needs to be done to get (and keep) partners away from abusive partners and get them safely out of and away from abusive relationships. As a domestic violence survivor (previous life; I don’t talk about it), it is upsetting to me that another woman has lost her life at the hands of a violent man. Mr. Bashioum certainly deserves the recognition for his dedicated service as a police officer, but what about the domestic violence victim?
I’ve read that “forgiveness is not something we do for OTHER PEOPLE. It is something we do for OURSELVES to be able to move forward.”
But for me, forgiveness is one of those ‘easier said than done’ tasks. If you’re one who tends to hold grudges (I am), how do you let go of the wrongs and move on, especially when trust is involved? How do you move forward when the guilty party hasn’t found the courage to talk with you directly about the issues that caused the distrust in the first place?
I don’t struggle with thoughts of forgiveness when I’m committed to hibernating at home. When I’m home alone, I can stew in my angry thoughts. I run into trouble when paths cross socially.
I’m trying to figure out just what exactly I want and whether I can let go. If I expect others to change and grow as a person, I should challenge myself to do the same.
Day 9: Stick a Fork in Me
Sometimes, no matter how much you wish for something to work out well for everyone involved, it’s best to walk away before any possibility of friendship is completely destroyed.
Day 2: Do Overs
Earlier this week, Flawed Memory and I exchanged a few tweets about a ‘do-over’ button. We had seen a screening of About Time the week before which involves the trait of time travel.
Today was a pretty laid back day for me, so I caught myself thinking about this topic a few times. If we had the ability to Time Travel (and knew about it), how far back in our lives would we go?
Would I go back to my teenage years and try not to be such a rebellious teenager?
Would I go back to my late teens and not be so anxious to get out of my mother’s house?
Would I go back and try to have a better relationship with my mother or father?
Would I make go back and make better decisions about my relationships: the high school boyfriend I wanted to marry; the ‘bad boy’ who drew me to him like a moth to a flame; the man I would eventually marry?
How far back would I wish to travel? Regardless of my choice, a do-over of any of the above options would have resulted in a completely different life. While my life hasn’t been perfect, I don’t know that I’d wish for it to be completely different. I am who I am because of the experiences I have had so far.
Where would you go if you had the option to ‘Do-Over’? Would you take advantage of the ability to time travel or would you be happy with your life as it is?