Category Archives: Relationships
Pittsburgh news has been inundated with stories surrounding the death of Canonsburg police officer, Scott Bashioum. While his death was a tragic and senseless one, little has been mentioned in the news about any services for the other victim of this senseless crime, Dalia Sabae, and her unborn child.
Ms. Sabae had filed protection from abuse (PFA) orders against her husband on more than one occasion. An active PFA prohibits the abuser from owning any firearms. However, the now-deceased abuser husband had access to firearms for hunting, according to his family, who stated to news sources that “they never thought something like this would happen.” Family, friends, neighbors are always the first to be surprised when they learn what happens behind closed doors.
Ms. Sabae was three months pregnant at the time of her unfortunate death. The final hours of her life (and her baby’s) were most likely terrifying with threats and probable violence at the hands of her abuser. A piece of paper (the PFA) couldn’t and wouldn’t save her life from a violent man.
More needs to be done to enforce PFAs. More needs to be done to get (and keep) partners away from abusive partners and get them safely out of and away from abusive relationships. As a domestic violence survivor (previous life; I don’t talk about it), it is upsetting to me that another woman has lost her life at the hands of a violent man. Mr. Bashioum certainly deserves the recognition for his dedicated service as a police officer, but what about the domestic violence victim?
I’ve read that “forgiveness is not something we do for OTHER PEOPLE. It is something we do for OURSELVES to be able to move forward.”
But for me, forgiveness is one of those ‘easier said than done’ tasks. If you’re one who tends to hold grudges (I am), how do you let go of the wrongs and move on, especially when trust is involved? How do you move forward when the guilty party hasn’t found the courage to talk with you directly about the issues that caused the distrust in the first place?
I don’t struggle with thoughts of forgiveness when I’m committed to hibernating at home. When I’m home alone, I can stew in my angry thoughts. I run into trouble when paths cross socially.
I’m trying to figure out just what exactly I want and whether I can let go. If I expect others to change and grow as a person, I should challenge myself to do the same.
Definitions provided by dictionary.com:
- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
- a person known to one, but usually not a close friend.
- the state of being acquainted.
- ( used with a plural verb ) the persons with whom one is acquainted.
- a person who clings to another for personal gain, especially without giving anything in return, and usually with the implication or effect of exhausting the other’s resources; parasite.
Are you aware of those who surround you? Do you strive to be the best type of friend you can be? Do you nurture your relationships with others?
Friendships around me are crumbling which prompts me to sit back and evaluate my relationships with others. It makes me sad to realize that some people don’t realize the wedge(s) they’ve caused over the past year. Quality over quantity — It’s better to surround yourself with a limited number of people who are real friends, rather than be surrounded by numerous people who will use you because they currently don’t have anyone better to leech from.
While I can’t control how others feel and are made to feel by so-called “friends,” I can limit my exposure to the toxicity caused by others.