We started our “Thelma and Louise” titles when we carpooled to our OBX vacation in September 2014. We’re not sure who of us is Thelma and who is Louise, and unfortunately, we haven’t run into our own Brad Pitt yet.

We were invited to Big Baldy’s destination wedding in Riveria Maya, Mexico. There was no way we could miss BB’s wedding to the love of his life! So Thelma and Louise figured they could share costs and room together. AA wasn’t a fan of the 7 AM charter flight (4 AM to airport, what?!?!), so I volunteered to use my stockpiled Southwest points to fly us to Cancun at a more reasonable hour. A flight to Cancun at a reasonable hour and only $75 each; Bonus!

Day 1 – Monday 5/2

Vampire Boy didn’t mind waking at 7 to drive AA and me to airport. That’s only because he then had use of the car for the week we were gone….and my house….thank gawd his girlfriend lives in another state! #boomchickawowwow

We get to the airport in plenty of time (curbside drop off is da’ bomb!) and get our bags checked and scanned through security.

Since it’s been a while since AA has flown and I knew she was itching to look out the window, I offered her the window seat. She may have squealed like a kid and pulled out her camera for a few (million) pictures. Did I mention that she was also transporting the bride’s wedding ring? Yes, AA had to play “fetch the wedding band” Mission-Impossible-style from Big Baldy’s house the weekend before we left.

We maaaaaay have had a little fun taking pictures of the ring’s adventure to get to its wedding!

Row 2 BMI to CUN

We arrive in Baltimore and have just enough time to grab something to eat/drink before we’re ready to board our flight to Cancun. We were quite excited to find ourselves with Row 2 all to ourselves! AA again snagged the window seat and set herself up to get another few (million) pictures. About halfway through our flight to Cancun, I went to take a drink of my Dr. Pepper that I had carried on in my water bottle. Not thinking about cabin pressure, I flipped up the straw and the Dr. Pepper came ejaculating out of straw – all over me, in my hair, running down the side of my face, and had spurted so high it was on the overhead bulkhead! After 10 minutes of giggling and cleaning myself up, we still couldn’t figure out if it hit the guy sitting in the seat behind me. So much for me saving this outfit for the trip home!

But this is a TOTALLY different sky than the once from PIT to BWI!

We arrive in Cancun, breeze through immigration, and then customs. We had heard that there could be a two-hour wait. Thank goodness the airport was empty on a Monday afternoon! As we try to make our way through the airport to find our transportation to the resort, we are stopped by a woman who appears that she can direct us to our transportation. She welcomes us to Cancun and leads us to her counter where we think she’s part of our resort/transportation. Instead, she starts the sell on excursions while we’re here. She can offer us an ATV tour for half the published price. As she’s obtaining information from us for our “free breakfast” at a different resort, she asks if we’re girlfriends. We aren’t quiiiiiite sure what she’s getting at (not that’s there’s ANYTHING wrong with that) and both reply “we came for a friend’s wedding.” Then she asks if we’re “legally single.” Um, what? Like you’ll admit if you’re ILLEGALLY single? Is that even a thing???? In any case, she has our personal information, that we’re “legally single,” and is offering us “free” breakfast and a “free” taxi ride to the other resort. She just needs a $20 deposit from each of us to hold our spot. Um, no thank you. We state that we’ve just arrived and are meeting a group of people. We don’t know what any of the plans are so we’re hesitant to book anything until we talk with everyone else. Her face clearly shows disappointment and she finally directs us outside to where we can find our shuttle driver to the resort. It was comforting to learn later that half the wedding guests also got suckered in for the sales pitch….although NONE of them were asked if they were “legally single”.

Corona: Proud sponsors of Cancun Airport

As we head outside, the thickness of the air and the heat smacks us in the face. AA notices that the airport tower is sponsored by Corona.  We track down our Apple transportation representative who tells us our shuttle should be ready in a few minutes. It turns out that we are the only two passengers on the shuttle……The Shuttle of Death. Our shuttle driver did not seem to notice other cars on the road and it felt like we were travelling at the speed of light. At one spot, we thought we were turning (hey, that guardrail looks close!) but our driver was just trying to push his way into another lane, almost taking out a small car in doing so!

We finally arrive at the resort and it is absolutely PARADISE! Sunshine, blue skies, clear water, palm trees, 125% humidity, and a 90* day – BEAUTIFUL! We are able to check in fairly quickly and ask for directions on where to find lunch. The front desk gives us directions to the lunch buffet, and of course, we got lost immediately! A kind employee escorted us to the elevator to find the buffet and we immediately head over to fill up our plates with lunch. We both ordered sodas and they also filled our water glasses. Do we drink the water? Other tables are drinking their water. Does that mean it’s OK?  What about the ice in our sodas? We weren’t prepared for this kind of pressure! We don’t want to get sick on our first day here!

Our courtyard fountain

Following our late lunch, we head to check our room. We quickly unpack, AA already starts losing her belongings (an ongoing theme all week), and we change into our swim suits. We made it as far as the adult pool, and it was heavenly.  The water was still warm after 7p, but they were already turning off fountains and clearing up the area.  Since the sun was setting, we decided to head down to the beach. Fortunately, there was a decent wind so we were (I was!) hoping that the wind would keep any bugs (zika mosquitos!) away. Is there anything more calming that sitting next to the ocean (sorry AA, Caribbean Sea!) and listening to the surf in the dark?

It’s the Caribbean Sea, not the ocean

Since we had had a long travel day, we headed back to the room and laughed that we may have gotten Montezuma’s Revenge AND Zika all in the first few hours of our adventure. I grabbed a shower, and then I crawled into my freshly made bed. We could get used to living in this paradise!

To be continued …

Note: AA co-authored and contributed pictures for this post.