Category Archives: Humor

Gender Poems!

The Female Poem

I want a man who’s handsome and strong

A man who will listen carefully and long.

One who thinks, before he speaks.

One who will call, and won’t wait for weeks.

I want a man who is gainfully employed,

And when I spend his money, won’t be annoyed.

A man who holds my arm as he opens the door

And massages my neck as he asks to do more.

I guess what I want is a man who loves to the end.

A man who will always be my very best friend.

 

The Male Poem

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac

with huge boobs who owns

a liquor store, a bowling alley,

a big fishing boat, and a golf course.

I know that doesn’t rhyme,

but I don’t give a sh#t.

If you actually recognize the day, Happy Valentine’s Day!

[Reprinted from my MySpace blog, 11/19/2006]

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The New Survivor

Have you heard about the next planned “Survivor” show?

”]6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc. The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m.; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off based on performance. The winner gets to go back to his job.

[I grabbed this from an old myspace blog post of mine. I can’t credit where it originated as I believe it was an email forward.]