The Female Poem

I want a man who’s handsome and strong

A man who will listen carefully and long.

One who thinks, before he speaks.

One who will call, and won’t wait for weeks.

I want a man who is gainfully employed,

And when I spend his money, won’t be annoyed.

A man who holds my arm as he opens the door

And massages my neck as he asks to do more.

I guess what I want is a man who loves to the end.

A man who will always be my very best friend.

The Male Poem

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac

with huge boobs who owns

a liquor store, a bowling alley,

a big fishing boat, and a golf course.

I know that doesn’t rhyme,

but I don’t give a sh#t.

If you actually recognize the day, Happy Valentine’s Day!

[Reprinted from my MySpace blog, 11/19/2006]