The Female Poem
I want a man who’s handsome and strong
A man who will listen carefully and long.
One who thinks, before he speaks.
One who will call, and won’t wait for weeks.
I want a man who is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his money, won’t be annoyed.
A man who holds my arm as he opens the door
And massages my neck as he asks to do more.
I guess what I want is a man who loves to the end.
A man who will always be my very best friend.
The Male Poem
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns
a liquor store, a bowling alley,
a big fishing boat, and a golf course.
I know that doesn’t rhyme,
but I don’t give a sh#t.
If you actually recognize the day, Happy Valentine’s Day!
[Reprinted from my MySpace blog, 11/19/2006]